Thursday, July 21, 2011

Goals for Study Abroad

Whenever I tell people that I will be studying abroad in Italy for 10 months, a lot of people tend to respond with, "Oh, so that'll be nice. I bet you'll be travelling the entire time, eh? Because no one actually studies when they go abroad..."

That's when i just stare at the person until he/she* becomes uncomfortable enough to walk away. I used to try and be all, "Oh, no. I'll actually be studying while abroad--you know, at an actual Italian university. Yeah, Italy actually has some of those... blah blah blah." Now i just stare, usually like this:

See why it freaks people out?

Needless to say, it gets the job done. In my head, you can bet your ass that i'm thinking, "Bitch, please. This isn't an Australian study abroad program." After all, i have to speak another friggin' language. Why can't anyone understand that i do not speak-o the italian-o. Okay, that's kind of a lie...

Anyway, i realized that i'm starting to get super lax about studying abroad. Since everyone always assumes that i wont be actually studying abroad, I've let myself pretend that's the case. This needs to stop. Like, now. If i forget how to ask where the bathroom is, I'm screwed. Like, s-c-r-e-w-e-d. A girl's gotta pee, yo.

Naturally, i make a list of goals i want to accomplish whilst in Italy. Because making lists is my #3 preferred method of procrastination, third to only Youtube and online shopping. It makes you feel productive while not actually being productive. This is generally how i roll.

Goals for studying abroad:

1. Meet Rick Steves. This guy is a BAMF, and quite possibly homosexual**. I have been on the quest for a gay best friend for my entire life. This guy is the way to go. 

2. Become the female version of Rick Steves (minus the whole him-being-gay thing. Despite what my mother thinks, i am very much straight.)

3. Learn to speak Italian. Like, actually speak it--not just pretend to.

4. Not die. No further explanation necessary.

5. Not get napped and sold into white slavery. I'm not cut out for prison and i'm definitely not cut out for slavery.

6. Travel as much as possible--within Italy, outside of Italy, down the street, around the corner, across the continent. I'll take what I can get.

7. Find a legitimate job once I graduate. Despite the whole i'm-taking-the-GRE thing, grad school is a back up plan... one that needs to not happen.

8. Make millions off this blog. Easy peasy.

9. Not look like a total idiot while among Italians.

10.  Not get fat(ter). I'm vain but honest.

11. Get some really bitchin' shoes.

Obviously some of these goals will be more difficult to accomplish than others. I mean, everyone knows it's easy as pie to get a job these days. The perfect pair of shoes, however, sometimes evades you for months.

Unlike Rick Steves, my priorities are straight.***

*Auntie Kay would be so proud of me for being grammatically correct here.
**Allegedly. I base this prediction solely off the 256 episodes of his show i have watched... although i'm probably right. I know my gays.
***This is a terrible joke. I really do like Rick Steves and really, really, really want to meet him. Sure, I'll be a little disappointed if i find out he's not gay, but then we can just go get an espresso somewhere that no one knows about except Rick Steves. Best friends forever!

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